WHAT!?

So Im doing my usual site cruising before class. I usually don't do this on school days but...Idk, the spirit moved me. lol So check I check out me.diatakeout.com, they haven't updated yet. So then I go over to th.eybf.com...Im scrolling...scrolling...then see that former Top Model Tocarra has released a workout DVD. COOL! So I'm reading the story and it starts out with

“Toccara’s Fabulous Workout” is a workout for Real Size Women."

and this is where I come to a screeching hault....WTF!? *Insert wtf face here* What is a real sized woman? I take it that they are referring to plus sized women. Why do people have to resort to putting other people down to make themselves feel better... Plus sized women spend so much time ridiculing women who are smaller than them...If they are so secure with their weight like they say they are, the why they always worried about us? So WTF is a real size? (Yes I am pissed.) I'm guessing any size in the double digits...which I see absolutly nothing wrong with. Tocarra looks great.

I meannn I am a size 2...I know plenty other people who are a size 2 as well...I know plenty of women with children that are about a size 4... My mom has four kids and she is a size 6/8. So why is that not a REAL size? Its real to a lot of people. I am so pissed I can't even think right now.

It's like...no I don't starve myself, and maybe I want to work out sometimes too! when I actually saw the article, I thought "Cool! I may go buy this" But now that I know that this DVD is only for "real" sized women, I guess us fantasy sized girls better go find some other way to workout if we want to...because of course exercises that you do depend on whether you wear double digit sizes or not...(sarcasm)...

I am too through

"I'll look at you like you're stupid"

Now...I know I never told you all about my dog. We have a boxer named Tyson that we got when he was 8 weeks old back in 2005. I never knew the meaning of a bad dog until I came in contact with this fool.

Let me tell ya'll about this lil mofo. Tyson is trained...I mean he knows every command in the book...But here's the catch. He only follows commands in 1 of 2 cases...or a combo of both.

1. If he feels like it.
2. If you have food.

If not, he will look at you like you're stupid. Betcha didn't think a dog could do that huh?

Now a bozer is not a small dog. Most dogs his size stay outside. Nooooo not bougois Tyson..

He only goes outside for 1 of 2 reasons...or a combination of both

1. He has to use the bathroom.
2. He wants to bark at something that he sees out the window.

When he is done doing said activities, he sits on the back patio right in front of the glass doors...he doesn't bark...he doesn't stratch at the doors...no...he will just look at you like you're stupid...until you let him in.

If you tell him to stop doing something, he will do it exactly one more time, while looking at you in the face, before he stops.

Now he has this new thing where he sits on the couch when my parents are gone...he doesn't care if we see him do it...that's right...he will casually walk past me and my siblings...proceed to knock all of the pillows off of the couch, and make himself comfy in the loveseat...all while looking at us like we are stupid.

Funny Story.

Tyson get's kinda hyper around company, so when we had company we would put him in the laudry room which is connected to the kitchen. So he's in the room, we're in the kitchen. He was stratching on the laundry room door because he really wanted to sniff and lick the company. So after a while the door handle moves, door opens, and tyson casually walks out of the laudry room...while looking at us like we're stupid...yes...he opened the door.

ttfn.

Short.Sweet.To the point.

Yes I am back. Yes I have been gone for a minute...a very long minute...so what. lol I was consumed with school, work and boo loving. Anyways, I just thought I would share one little baby rant with you guys.

WTF is up with this whole "no homo" phrase???...I mean, if I'm not homo and you're not homo and we're not talking about anything remotely homo, then wtf is the point of saying no homo??? GEEZ!!

" Yea son, the door was locked so my mans and them had to come help me beat it down...no homo"

*Insert wtf face here*

I mean...it is a door we are referring to correct? What could possibly be homo about beating down a door...let ME know...

'Tis all

I mean...I have a life...Geez

Sorry people. I KNOW that I have been neglecting you for a while...a really long while...But I solemnly swear that as soon as I get settled in school, get caught up on my readings and my 33 page syllabus for freakin MCOM 433, that I will be back with more juicy girltalk...In the meantime, you can drop me suggestions or just say hi or something...geez...some words of encouragement or something...but anyway.



TTYL

Cajun Sparkle

Ok so this happened a long time ago...like in the middle of last semester.

We're in the car, ridin down Joppa Road on the way to Popeyes to get some chicken...so we pull up at the window, I order my food, he orders his, they tell us the total...you know, the usual.

We finally get up to the window and this fool asks the cashier for some Cajun sparkle...m.f'in Cajun sparkle!!! *Insert wtf face here* I'm just lookin at him like WTF is that??? Cajun Sparkle??? That sounds like a gay super-hero from down south!!!

Anyway, I'm waitin for the cashier to give him the dumb look and be like "What are you talking about?" But no! The cashier reaches down and gets him some Cajun sparkle! So I come to the conclusion that I'm the only one in this situation who has never heard of the crap! It turns out that Cajun sparkle is some seasoning packet from Popeyes. So I ask the fool:

"What are you supposed to do with that?"

To which he replies:

"You shake it on your chicken."

So now, I can't wait to get home so I can snatch one his packets of Cajun sparkle. And the whole way home I'm listening to him reassure me "Not to fake on the Cajun sparkle"...whatever...cajun sparkle my ass...At this point I'm still mad that he even uttered the words Cajun sparkle out of his mouth.

So now we're back at my house. We bypass the living room and go upstairs to my bedroom. You know when you have your own place you don't have to worry about your mom telling you not to eat in your room. lol...but anyway...needless to say, I got me a packet of Cajun sparkle and sprinkled in on my chicken thigh...Ya'll...it was so bomb!

Just when you thought Popeyes chicken couldn't get anymore flavorful...now they have a seasoning packet too! Heaven!!! So yea...now everytime I go to Popyes I don't leave without my Cajun sparkle.

Go get you some

Even They Have Standards

A lot of women struggle with dating and relationships. Mainly because women set their standards so high these days...which is not a problem. But bottom line:You need to be able to reciprocate what you are asking for.

I asked a couple guys to give their standards for women that would pursue a relationship with. Basically. The things that we want in men, are the same things they want in a woman. So if you cant match it then don't ask for it.

1. "I'm going to treat you based on how you carry yourself"

Translation: If you want a respectable man...chances are, he wants respectable woman. If you want Mr. Classy, then you need not be at the club with your booty shorts and thigh high boots on...Mr. Classy is not going to pay you any attention honey. But Mr. Goldtooth over there...that's looking right up your alley. So don't be mad when he comes over to get your number...he's just treating you like what you look like.

2. No need to "Do it up" Everyday.

Translation: The MAC, Gucci Bag, and stilettos do not impress him. Don't you want to know that your guy can look just as good in a white tee and sweats as he does in his three piece suit? So do they. So clean off the foundation, remove the eyelashes, and throw on a hanes fitted...just chill...That's how he will know if you are really bad or not...After all, you are NOT a bad bitch if you MUST wear a full face of makeup everyday. Let's give the men the fair advantage of discovering that.

3. "Just cuz you got a phat ass does NOT mean I'm going to wife you"

Translation: Ok yea so your body is tight...AND? I know many ladies out here want a man with some intellectual substance, not just a looker. So don't think that just because your body is tight and you have a pretty face that you can get any man you want. That might get you in the door. But if your dumb as a doornail, or have a funky personality, guaranteed you will not be there long...I'm just sayin.

4. "Have realistic goals"

Translation: We want the educated man, the man who is going somewhere and doing something with himself right? So what are YOU doing? Every girl wants to be a model these days...come on now, that's not going to happen for every Jane, Sally and Susie that stands in front a white sheet and poses for the camera. Don't you think men want a secure intelligent female who knows where she is going in life? Not some day-dreamer who can't get her head out of the clouds...You don't want it. Neither do they. Do YOU have job? Do YOU have a car? Do YOU have a place?...check yourself first.

I'm Just sayin...Did I miss anything?

Love Her!!!!

http://semi-literate.blogspot.com

This girl is beyond hilarious. She can make a normal days event sound like...the adventures of Napolean and Pedro or something...idk...but it's really funny. This is like the first blog that I ever read. I mean, her blog inspired my blog...but no seriously... I wait for her to post a new one every single day...hot stuff. Check her out.

THANKS!